This poem is dedicated, to all of you that may have had or are having a difficult time, believing that, you are here for a reason. Your season will come. You will be able to look back and hold something divine, from your pains, joys and walk away with holding your soul’s foundation. Please believe.
“BELIEVE”
The more that I look back at my life,
I realize,
I had no other choice but to come into this world strong.
I came into this world through this beautiful black queen.
Who made some choices and turns in life, that lead her to becoming a fiend.
Slowly, through the years self hatred, hurt, and depression grew deep, deep inside of me.
I was on the run for many years from this feeling that, I know and embrace today as being peace and love, well love, was an emotion that wasn’t known, or felt anywhere inside of me.
I remember traveling to different states, other countries…..
getting off planes after visiting, still inside my soul I felt empty and hungry.
Wishing love would come and capture all of me.
I’d like to take a moment and stop and reach out to all that reached out to me and say thank you, also apologize for not being available for you to reach me.
At the time, I was confused juggling my emotions feeling deeply worthless.
Unknowing, God was building me for my life’s purpose.
Back then, material things used to be my identity, so I made it my business to insert on the regular shopping tours, and selecting some of the most prestigious stores.
To escape the pain….
Still I felt empty and one night, after crying for about an hour, while listening to a few of my many fears. My soul whispered to me that this chapter in my life was over and that I required so much more. I retired to sleep waking the next day.
Saying God, I’m here, and I’m auditioning for this new role in life! I’ve been searching for peace and surprisingly I found it while, practicing to love and forgive me.
I’ve been practicing to love myself enough today, to know, when the time comes, but wait, the truth must be told. When I love, I love hard so at times I struggle when the time comes for me to have let go.
I really believe that our
Environments,
inspire us what and how to study, mine inspired me to study the streets.
So, I know the streets, the truth about the streets like on levels in order to survive on earth sometimes you do what you gotta do to eat.
I’m not looking to divorce myself from the truth at least not about me. Instead, I embrace and thank my past, for the blessings, knowledge and strength it has given me.
By the dear grace of god, I’m able to stand before you, in my thirties, dressed in forgiveness, strength, apologies confidence, and finally some peace. Never forgetting the tough times, I’ve endured thus far on my journey.
Each day, I’m made to embrace a little more faith reminding myself often, when I have to, to never give up.
Keep dreaming, and keep believing because the god I know, knows nothing at all about being late.
To the pain, that arrived, when having to say good-bye to different relationships, I shared in my life, it was important to talk more with god day or night.
I hear the echoes of my ancestors giving me guidance, whispering to me that if the storm didn’t kill you it was to make you stronger.
Now, I’m better prepared for the storms and should they come hard…….
I’ve made a promise to practice what I’ve been taught and that is to turn to no other….
“Let Go And Let God”
Where is the light to loving him…
I guess it’s been hard, and the hurt has deepened to a place, that makes me feel like, I can’t feel anymore, because I’ve been trying to love him, but his light is out.
It’s seems as though, its’ been out for some time, and no one speaks about the cause, but his pain concerns me, in a way that I fail to get good rest after visiting moments spent with him. I think about his responses to the natural rhythm of life, like how he makes others smile, and voids the feeling of smiling from within his own heart.
Where is the light to loving him…
What happened, did some one still the beat to his heart, did they take the lining of his soul, the voice of his happiness, did they stop loving him at a time that was crucial in his eyes for them to continue to love him,
Was it a moment he depended on the support of being loved and someone failed to deliver…..
Did he shut down after loving someone so deeply and possibly they violated him in a major way, that the hurt is still alive within him today, or is he afraid to be loved,
Why am I here, why to these feelings exist, do I need to relocate to the place of not loving someone again or is it just, god telling me, he simply needs a friend.
Kirema Musa
11-26-09
“PAIN IS REAL”
WHILE,
ENLIGHTMENT IS STRONGER THAN ANY DARK REASON
AS WE TRAVEL THROUGH THE VALLEY’S OF HURT
BEING IT OUR OWN PAIN
AND AT TIMES OTHERS, WE WILL FIND OUR WAY AS LONG AS WE CONTINUE TO BELIEVE.
WE ENTER EACH OTHERS’ LIVES, WITH ASSIGNMENTS, AS THEY ENTER OURS THE SAME. NOT EVERYONE WILL UNDERSTAND, OR BE WILLING TO SURRENDER TO THE UNIVERSE’S COMMANDS.
HURT, AFTER A LESSON CAN BE A BADGE OF HONOR IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE LESSON ATTACHED……
I STAND IN A FORM OF UNDERSTANDING, WITH HURT, LOVE, TRUTH, AND WORDS OF PEACE
BELIEVING I AM STILL LEARNING EVERY DAY, EVERY SECOND. IT IS A REASON FOR LIFE AND EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE TODAY IN OUR PERSONAL LIVES.
A CHOICE, A TURNING POINT….CONTINUE YOUR JOURNEY…. Believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KIRMEMA MUSA